God Damn Russians
My work place has been invaded. I didn’t notice it at first, but one day it hit me. This whole god damn place is flush with Ruskies. Not. In. My. America.
Afghanistan? Iran? Nope. I grew up in the 80s. Russians are my enemy. If these assholes think they can just come in here, take all of the good IT jobs and watch weird Russian Youtube videos where all the comments are written in Cyrillic, they can go fuck themselves right in their dumb fluffy hats.
I don’t like their tight, weirdly patterened shirts, their too thin Formula 1 driver shoes or their horrible car-just-ran-through-a-fence teeth. We have dental insurance, dick. Why don’t you melt down those thin ass gold chains and drink one less gallon of vodka a day to save up a for a co-pay, you bread line needing fuck?
Some people would say I’m overreacting. Corey, they’re probably nice people. Why don’t you just calm down and give them a chance? To those people, I say, if you think I’m going to just sit here and listen to them obviously trading covert intelligence to each other with their dumb language and not do anything, I have one word for you, comrade. Wolverines!